Saturday

Walking along the high street to check for any further outbreaks of witchlike incidents I saw the deputy head with the woman from the cashless catering company. They were hand in hand leaving Tesco’s.

Returning home I noticed that the street name for my road has been removed. I now live in a street with no name. I rather like that but suspect other-world involvement.

A dance (as opposed to a dance lesson) was advertised at the dance club – at last an alternative to Saturday night with the usual crowd in the pub. I went with great expectation – and with Binky. I danced with a man who told me he was a teacher. I told him I was with MI6. Also danced with a man wearing a tee-shirt that said “Nobody knows I am Elvis”. I commented on this to Wendy – a charming woman I chatted with between dances. She said, “You should have seen the one he was wearing last week.”

Blinky got on very well – it turns out she is a natural dancer. I noticed several people there who are, I am sure, involved with military intelligence and are just checking me out. As we drove back we checked the high street on my way home but nothing untoward appeared. Except the spire of St Augustine’s seemed taller than I remember it. And several sign posts seemed to be blank.

Sunday

As I had missed the quiz last night virtually everyone from the Saturday night pub scene took it on themselves to drop in to ask me about the dance. En masse we went to Blakes – opposite the Toppled Bollard. En route I noticed the church spire at St Blair’s – it was missing. Havoc Blythe suggested that it had been removed by auditors after the church had failed to pay its council tax.

I gave a detailed account of my Saturday night out, and in return I heard how Mrs Marchmount had had an altercation with Jermain – her current beau. By and I large I think I had the more fun – a fact confirmed by Janice’s confirmation that whatever flings or affairs she has been having have come to nought and could she come dancing next time?

Back home I found a message had been put through my door. It read

Ikuisuus on yliarvostettua, kun etsit uutta tulokast

Lähdetään ulos ja tanssitaan hetki, elämä on enemmän väijymistä kuin selviytymistä

Clearly this is a new code, and I await the arrival of my decoding documents in the near future. In the meanwhile I congratulate myself on taking my life forwards into a new dimension. I have retained my old friends, am yet am venturing into new arenas. This is good.