Binky is a star, my grandmother is Merlin

25/07/2008 by April First.

There was universal demand for knowledge as to my experience last night.    

“The club,” I announced, “is exclusive.” 

“But they let you in,” said Janice, “and Binky.” 

“I wore my hat,” I explained.  “Binky is a star.”

“Binky can dance?” asked Janice.  A more uncoordinated person it would be hard to imagine, but I confirmed it.  “Binky is one of the top dancers – every dance a new man.”

“And you learned what exactly?” asked Mrs Marchmount, unhappy that my activities had taken the limelight away from her latest internet date. 

“I learned the octopus, the basket, the half windmill and the slide,” I said. 

“And this was dancing?” she asked. 

“Exactly so.” I said in a voice that I felt also suggested that they could be tactical manoeuvres in keeping with my role in MI6. 

My story however was interrupted regularly by the phone.  Someone and none of us could imagine who, had told the media that the school’s number was actually the HQ of the Cult of Merlin.  After the fifth call I started to experiment with the way I answered the phone (vocal disguise is important in the world of military secrets) eventually settling on a west country drawl that my grandmother affects when she’s asking me for money.

One of the auditors looked into the office.  It appeared he had lost his wallet.  I told him Dr Havoc-Blythe looked after lost property. 

In the evening Binky and I went dancing again.  I think there might be something in this. 

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