- News (102)
- 27/08/2008: I prepare to enter my new role in life
- 26/08/2008: At last my talent is recognised
- 21/08/2008: Summer hols
- 02/08/2008: A disbelieving end to the term
- 01/08/2008: I think I am getting the hang of this
- 31/07/2008: School under attack. Police called.
- 30/07/2008: I am not a witch
- 29/07/2008: Pirates? And parrots?
- 27/07/2008: The church towers are attacked, I am liberated
- 26/07/2008: Which office would you like to step into?
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SATS and phone calls
With term over we are able to focus on the finer things of life. Such as what will happen about the SATS. At the moment we are sitting on a range of papers, some marked, some not, and some of which have nothing to do with us. (The Philosophy Degree Papers which belong to a university in Chicago are particularly interesting I feel).
The secretary at the Dept for Cushions and Soft Furnishings has, it seems made a statement to the effect that we need a “thorough investigation” into the problems, and thus being ever helpful we have decided to write up our own report.
After due consideration we feel that the witchcraft that is now sweeping our town is indeed responsible for the whole saga, and that someone somewhere has put a Curse on our school, and on the secretary of state. We have written to tell him and suggest that he bathes for a week in the blood of an ox while eating a sherbet dip. That should do it.
Apparently 30 per cent of Key Stage 3 English results are still unavailable - which is fortunately no problem to us, because 30 percent of our children can’t read.
It seems that in many schools the headteacher is coming in to check and re-calculate the marks of the papers. I sent an email to Mr Berlosconi and asked him if he was coming in, but as he appears to be out of the country he did not reply. Janice put all the incoming calls into our “press the right number” system, with 99 being the number to press if you have a complaint about SATS. That then redialled the call and sent it to the Dept for Cushions and Soft Furnishings, which I thought was rather clever.
I received two text messages thanking me for dealing so promptly with the incident in town yesterday, and a letter from O2 acknowledging that my identity had been stolen, and asking me to confirm which station I had reported the incident to. I wrote back and said Kings Cross.