Term ends and now we have witchcraft

21/07/2008 by April First.

Now that the story of the head falling out of the Toppled Bollard at lunchtime is common knowledge (and what with Blake’s being directly opposite the Bollard) the crowd of regulars from school who attend the coffee bar of a Saturday morning has grown of late.

This Saturday there was much talk of late of nefarious activity in the haunted underpass just off the town centre – and an interest in the growing discussion in the local press about witchcraft making a comeback.  I was particularly interested in the notion expressed by Blinky that the underpass itself had reached terminal velocity, and it suddenly struck me that I ought to be writing these things down ready for my interview with MI6. 

No sooner had the thought landed in my brain than Mrs Marchmount suggested that language was losing its appeal for her and that she no longer found it necessary when communicating with her lovers. I rushed out and bought a notebook in Woolworths opposite.

Upon my return the self-same Mrs Marchmount was introducing her new “beau” to the team – he carried a large tome he had apparently just purchased in the market and it was unclear if he intended to read it or hit Mrs Marchmount on the head with it. I asked him if he lived locally, and he said no, he had come into the area in order to investigate our underpass for psychic phenomena. Mrs Marchmount stayed quiet throughout the whole exchange. Havoc-Blythe suggested later that her gentleman friend had put a spell on her.

On Sunday evening at the Bollard I decided to give post modernism a rest and to stay with witchcraft. It was widely agreed that we had a major problem in the town. Dr Havoc-Blythe suggested there was also a Cult of Merlin issue locally but not everyone was sure on this point. Blinky Althorpe said the cost of peanut butter is a major issue, although I was not quite sure how this fitted in either.

We were in the middle of that conversation when a message turned up on my mobile telling me that there had been an unconfirmed incident in the high street and would I go to cover the situation. I walked down to the town centre with Janice and looked around but there was nothing out of place. I pondered the call.  Why me?  Cover what?

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