Chaos at DCSF: situation normal

The story in the press that SATS results for children have been unmarked because the children are recorded as absent.  In fact if you have been reading this for any length of time you’ll know the battles we have had in school in our attempts to get the registers accurate.

In fact (double fact in fact) since the fight that I reported here, matters have not improved much and Janice reported to the head that we could no longer call the parents of pupils in certain classes because the registers were inaccurate, (as I had so dramatically proved with our invented pupils.)

The head of course has done nothing about this, so the matter lies dormant.

But this is everyday: pupils marked absent when they are here – it was bound to make the news sometime.  In a sense it is mildly amusing to watch the ministers at the Dept of Cushions and Soft Furnishings squirm because they say absolutely, totally, that the SATS are all marked, and the immediately people from hundreds of schools phone the papers and say “Oh no they’re not”.

Started to feel that one of my out-of-work activities ought to be true if I am going to get this job with MI6 (and why should I not get such a job – they have been putting cards through my door for weeks).  For one second I almost  wished I had put “going to the pub on a Saturday night” as a hobby but immediately better sense kicked in.   I am joining military intelligence in order get away from that life.   I have to act positively, and have decided Dancing is to be my Hobby That I Actually Do (as opposed to the ones that are just a Front for my Undercover Actions.)  Dancing will go with my Hat and my Scarf.   When interviewed by military intelligence I will thus direct the discussion towards the world of dance.  I am not sure which part of the world of dance, but I shall resolve that anon.

I checked the internet during the morning - there are dance classes everywhere – I had no idea it was so popular.  I thought you only Brucie on TV did it.  I could go every night of the week, and learn one style, or a dozen styles. 

I will start.  But perhaps not tonight.  No point rushing these things.  Us spies are cool about ventures like this – needing to “case the joint”.  I am surveillant (a rare but useable word, according my Oxford Dictionary on Historical Principles which means the act of carrying out surveillance).  Us spies like rare words.

Moments later the deputy head came to the office, and amazingly almost (but not quite) entered the room.  “What,” he said, “do you know about cashless catering?” 

To a woman we shrugged, and typed meaningless phrases into our computers, as one does.

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