My new role in life is confirmed

15/07/2008 by April First.

Deborah (the head’s PA) moved into our office from her own on the grounds that she didn’t come into this job to be a dental receptionist’s builder’s mate.  Apparently she quite liked the dentists, but can’t stand the mess they have left behind, nor the people who are supposedly putting the room back in shape. 

With the threat of redundancy still hanging over us due to Cashless Catering, I chose to spend  half an hour on the internet looking for jobs.

I am immediately attracted by MI6, who say that anyone who has been approached and asked to put a postcard in the window should consider applying!   I fit the bill completely – but am not sure if the postcards that were put through my door are from them or someone else.

Their web site includes information on recreation activities – they have a gym, sports teams, various societies and a dance club.    Without a pause I realised that dance could be my Hobby and would fit in well with my Hat and Scarf (not to mention my new job with MI6).   Of course I am hampered by not having been to a gym for years, not playing in a sports teams, not being part of any particular society that I can remember, and not being a regular dancer – but this is a detail.  Us international agents see the broader picture. 

From now on if anyone I like asks me out for a meal I will be able to ask if they exercise, play a sport, are actively involved in a society or dance.  When they say no (it is well known that no men really work out – they just pretend to, no one in a real team would ask me out because they will be training, there are no intellectuals in this town and every knows men can’t dance) I will tell them I only go out with men who exercise / play / debate / dance in order to maintain my cover with military intelligence. 

(I have just read back through this diary entry and realise that in many ways neither the diary nor my life makes any sense.   This is good.   It is important that us military intelligence types always cover our tracks.)

Looking through my application form upon completion however I felt being involved in all the activities that the “company” (I think that is what we spies call our employers) puts on as extras, might be a bit obvious.  On the other hand when facing foreigners in their own country I suspect one needs a whole variety of social skills to survive.  I thus went back to the form and for reasons which are no longer quite clear to me, added “casual vandalism” to the “personal and social activity” list.

According to the local news Robert Salward from year 10 has been awarded Slovenian citizenship and will play for their under 16 football team in a forthcoming tournament against the Czech Republic.

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