For a reason I can’t explain I had a much better night’s sleep and I arrived at school brighter than I have been for days.  I walked in, made everyone a coffee and said, “I have decided to get a New Life.” 

Faces looked at me expectantly, and I had to admit that after the first flush of my announcement I was rather vague on the details at this moment.  But nevertheless I felt I had made the initial decision, and that was a matter of some import.  Everyone was very supportive apart from the bursar who came in and looked at me suspiciously.  I think there was still something of the phobia about him.

By break I had gone a step further.  “I will have not just a New Life, but also a New Personality,” I announced.  

Janice, I noticed, had now come out of the Personnel files, and was much more understanding of my state of mind.  We spent the rest of the morning debating what colour my New Personality should be.   We couldn’t agree so we asked the dentists to get us some pizzas., and Janice put a “do not disturb” notice on the door.  I asked her at lunchtime how things were with Derek.

“We had a good… evening,” she said, “I’ll tell you about it away from work.”

“I thought I saw the start of a longer term relationship,” I said.

“Later,” said Janice, and we left it at that.

By mid-afternoon I announced that the New Me was a person who went to exciting places and did exciting things. 

Mrs Marchmount demanded to know what things. 

“I shall wear outrageous hats,” I said.

Mr Masamasam came to the office and told me he didn’t believe that aibohphobia existed.   I took out a pen and wrote “phobia” down in big letters and showed it to him.   Then I wrote it backwards and joined it onto the front of “phobia” as he watched intrigued as before his eyes he saw “aibohphobia” emerge. I then passed him my dictionary open at the word “palindrome.”   He scowled, scratched his head and walked away. 

Late in the afternoon the kitchen staff announced that they are planning to strike and Mrs Marchmount said she had a date tonight with a man from Gibraltar called Galileo who is half her age.

I asked Janice if I could drop round and see her that evening, and she was fine about it.  I asked her what had happened with Derek.  She told me, and we moved on to the fact that whereas I get asked out to dinner all the time by men I don’t like, she gets asked out by men she does like.  I suggested that my new hat policy might put matters right for me, and Janice agreed that it might – but I don’t think she really thought so.