O2 give me a phone

Two notes in my in-tray this morning.  One from the stunningly unattractive bi-lingual Aaron Swift expressing his admiration for the way I took it upon myself to consider the well-being of the Latvian children, and asking me out for a meal.  The other from Dr Havoc-Blythe expressing the happiness over the way the weekend proceeded and asking me out for a meal to “talk over events”.    

To Mr Swift I wrote stating I was grateful for the offer but unfortunately was attending a course on the role of dentistry in school administration followed by the pre-trial hearing into the death of the President of Bolivia.   Havoc-Blythe received a rather shorter (but I thought upon reflection more direct) reply – although I did admit that I had thoroughly enjoyed the weekend, and was grateful to get out of town and away from the events of school.

At 10.30 Mr Fixham, the Deputy Head entered and announced that there would be some changes in the way work was divided between administration and management in future.  Mrs Marchmount immediately perked up (she had been looking decided unperked up to that point).  “I have been meaning to talk to you about that, Mr Fixham,” she announced.  “We are most certainly overloaded at present, and although I did not want to suggest it directly, I do feel it is ideal that the management should take on some of our work, given that physically we have no more room for another member of staff in the office.”

Mr Fixham gave her a most curious look – indeed a look of such curiousness that perhaps “coriander” although not meaning the same thing would better express the looks that came over the Deputy Head’s face.

“I fear we have purposes crossed indeed,” said Mr Fixham, “for it is the office that will be taking on the tasks which management cannot undertake, given the high level of demand for new initiatives being propounded upon us as a daily ritual and routine by our masters in Whitehall and County Hall.”

We look aghast.

“Starting today I would like the office to take over timetabling, exam organisation including invigilation, the organisation of supply staff, and indeed other personnel record keeping, playground duty, and health and safety.”

And with that he walked out of the door.

The stunned silence was broken merely by Janice shouting, “Yes!”

We looked at her in a look akin to the look you give an overweight middle aged man who says he rather likes the music of Garry Glitter.

Janice saw the eyes of the room were, as it were, on her.   “We got personnel,” she explained.  I think that’s doughnuts all round.”

In the evening I had been home for no more than a minute when the front door bell rang and a polite lady handed me a DHL parcel.  I duly signed and went back inside, putting on a record by Signur Ros that the head of sport (whose name I can never remember) had given me to compensate for his behaviour at the staff party.

The box contained a brand new, top of the range, ultra stylish O2 phone, SIM card and full set of extras.  Tucked away inside was a note saying that they would start taking money out of my account within the next few days – although they didn’t say which account.

All of which is rather odd, since I already have a mobile phone which is with Orange, and have had no contact with O2.

This entry was posted on 01/07/2008 at 06:29 am and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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