Men are hanging around the school perimeter

12/06/2008 by April First.

The two work experience students turned up at 11am.  I pointed out that their stint with us had finished 10 days ago.  They said they thought we didn’t start until break on Mondays.  I told them it wasn’t Monday and sent them to clear up the spiders. 

There have been a number of reports of men of East European appearance hanging around the school perimeter.  I thought they might be coming for dental appointments, but it seems they never enter the grounds.  Dr Havoc Blythe came in to suggest that they were spying on the under 12 football team.

“Paedophiles?” asked Janice, alarmed. 

“Football scouts,” said Dr Havoc-Blythe.  It seems that the Head of Sport (whose name I can’t remember) has handed over to a consortium of Dentists, Parents and Pizza Delivery Drivers. 

I pointed out that Havoc Blythe had some greenery in his hair.  Now most men would immediately start plucking at their head – or at least seek out a mirror.  Not Havoc Blythe.  He simply didn’t fall for the bait – and that’s why I dislike him so.

Columbus sent me an acknowledgement of my email and telling me that I would have a decision shortly.  I wrote and thanked them for the promise of money, looked forward to receiving it, and asked where I should send a receipt.

The queues of people with toothache outside the head’s study are becoming unmanageable.

Ms Joplin, The Head of Music, after whom every male teacher in the school lusts, for reasons that I have never understood, turned up with a choir made up of year 11 boys (who behave similarly) and they sang unaccompanied to the waiting hordes and raised £2,500, mostly from men who were looking at Ms Joplin.   I was going to ask what would happen to the money, but then it was time to go home.

Do you have a story to relate about life in the office?  Email April@admin.org.uk and tell us what happened.   There might be the odd exaggeration in what April writes, but most of the stories are based, to some degree, on real events told to us by administrators. 

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