A work experience student genetically modified by a spider

03/06/2008 by April First.

Arrived at school to find Aaron Swift from Starbright in the head’s study with the Latvians. (See my diary entry for 23rd May if you’ve lost the plot on this - it certainly took me a moment to think back to before the half term holiday).

Despite his youthful and indeed ungainly appearance which made me think at first that one of the lost work-experience student had been genetically modified with a spider, Mr Swift clearly could speak Latvian. I asked him to tell the parents that the children would have classes very soon and that after today there will be no need for the parents to attend school.

“The parents say they like coming here – it is very clean and they like the pictures on the wall. Besides being here saves on heating bills,” said Mr Swift translating their replies.

I pointed out it was the head’s study and we didn’t know when he would be back (which was by and large true) and asked if they didn’t have jobs to go to. Mr Swift told me they didn’t.

I asked what they had done in Latvia.

“Apparently they were dentists,” said Mr Swift.

“All of them?” I asked.

“Most of them. Two were pizza delivery drivers.”

For ten seconds we haggled over a deal. The only problem appeared to be the fact that the dentists needed some additional equipment. I don’t quite know what came over me but I told them I’d sort it.

For the rest of the day the prime topic of conversation was the list of personal comments made about us by the managers - as revealed over the weekend by Dr Havoc-Blythe. Janice wondered if we could cite the First Amendment and have them all thrown out of school, but Mrs Marchmount pointed out that the First Amendment was actually part of the American Constitution, and therefore only applicable in the USA. With more hautiness than I thought necessary Mrs M then added that she thought the EU Directive on Human Rights was more what we should be looking at, and we all scuttled back to our computers to look that up.

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