The weekend

Janice and I determined to make this day the final battle in our war against the non-residents.  While she paraded in her uniform I delivered messages apologising for having moved the car by electrosynthesis in order to get my own car out.  It was possible, the note added, that the electrosynethetic effect could well leave a residual field and it would be best not to touch the car until 11pm.   Should anyone touch the car earlier they should immediately report to their GP for a full check-up – especially if they then suffered from any headaches. 

In the afternoon I drove over to my elder brother Jake’s house.  He told me, over tea and crumpets, that he is worried about me, suggesting that he finds it hard to tell where my life moves from the factual into fantasy.   My protestations that “it is all true” were met with grunts and suggestions that I ought to listen to some improving music.  He particularly didn’t believe the bit about Ofsted being an alien invasion.  I told him I would develop the idea of putting explanatory notes in my diary so I can check on my own sanity.

On the drive home I resolved to take up his idea, and get more of a life beyond school. 

I arrived home just before 11.   My street was empty save for three cars still carrying the electrosynthesis notes.  A small crowd huddled on the pavement.

Saturday night’s regular Saturday night affair seemed less fun than normal and I suspected people were looking at me.  I told them of my feelings but the general consensus was that this was just normal Saturday paranoia.

At the quiz night there was the question “Who sold England in the famous 1970s album, and by what did they sell it?”   Naturally Jermaine knew – naturally my team had no idea.   As a result I have decided to follow Jake’s suggestion and become interested in Peter Gabriele – a popular musical artist whom he highly recommends. 

Looked up “Saturday paranoia” on the internet and found that it refers to a condition which apparently 86% of the UK population suffers from – a belief that everyone else in the country is out at the greatest party of all time and I’m the only person sitting in the pub with my friends.  I’m glad everyone  else has the same feeling.

Went to the Sunday market and found three second hand CDs by Mr Gabriele on the “Genuine second hand CDs which didn’t come off the back of a lorry honest” stall.  Played them this afternoon.  Feel more able to raise the tone of next Saturday night’s discussion – and am ready to take on new hobbies and expand my life.   No my skulking around the fish pond for me.

Anything good happen to you this weekend?  Do let me know - April@admin.org.uk    You can read earlier pages in the diary by clicking on the dates in the calendar on the left.