A giraffe treads on my car

From the dictionary of Common School Admin Terms:  Head Teacher.   Mythical creature with a lair at the far end of the upper corridor (known during staff parties as the liar at the end of the upper corridor).  Reputed to go on long hunting expeditions during which the creature is not seen for days at a time.  Suspected to be under a preservation order. 

The bursar gave us a long chat on the need to improve productivity and efficiency in all sectors of the school administration.  I asked him how we might do this, but he said it was for us to work out.  He asked me why I had been late for work yesterday and quick as a flash I drew out the Book of Excuses and told him that a giraffe had trodden on my car that morning.  A strange twitch passed over his face as he fell over a box of health and safety manuals by the door and went home with a twisted ankle.

The big news was the notice we got about Celebrate School Day on 15 July.  The email suggest that we should think of something great that has happened in the school and send out press releases about it leading up to 15 July.  We all think this is a great idea and have begun to collect details of some of our major achievements.  Janice suggested that the arrival of the Head of History every single day for two weeks was itself worthy of note, but I suspect the organisers of the event want something more than that. 

The Amphibious Disorder Response Unit phoned in sick.

During the day I had a couple of emails from readers pointing out that although they got the fact that the Amphibious Disorder Response Unit is (obviously) unreal, they suddenly found that  some of the organisations and events mentioned here are actually true and reflect life in my office (which of course they do).   As they say in the classroom “maybe you can guess which ones are which”.   But just to be on the safe side my colleagues in the SEA (itself a real organisation) will, in the next few days put up a list of the details of the real bits - just in case you ever want to look them up, and to stop anyone suing me.   They will appear on www.admin.org.uk   Sorry if I caused confusion - somehow with me it just seems to happen.    April@admin.org.uk

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