“The book of Admin Excuses”

13/05/2008 by April First.

Following Friday’s escapades Janice gave me her copy of “The Book of Admin Excuses”.  It was a good move for, within minutes, Dr Havoc Blythe dropped in.  He announced that he had reserved the “best table in the house” at Maison Jules that evening, that Pierre would be serving personally, and that he would be honoured if I would accompany him. 

“I’d really love to come doctor,” I said, as I opened a page at random, “but unfortunately I have a horse running in the 2.30 at Kempton and so won’t be able to make it.”  A strange twitch passed over his face and he left.

At lunchtime the Mr Masamasam, our Bursar went home suffering from spots. 

In the afternoon two work experience students turned up.  They should  have been here at 9am but claimed they “didn’t know what time we started”.  Janice told them to go and help prepare the frog pond for the visit of the Amphibious Disorder Response Unit. 

25 staff off with spots, no teachers in office.  We declared victory and announced a public holiday in celebration.  

At 3pm an ambulance arrived to take away four staff who had tripped over the health and safety manuals Janice had helpfully left in the staffroom doorway.

A letter arrived from the BBC asking if we would be willing to lease the rights to the “Ofsted” alien creatures for the next series of Doctor Who.  Janice phoned the company that makes Primeval and said that the BBC had offered us ££££ for the Oftsed creature – did they want to up the bid.  She also phoned Sky to see if they wanted to include Ofsted in Blake’s 7.   The Primeval company phoned back and asked if the deal included a licence for the Softorque software that kills Oftsed creatures.   We said probably.

Since my diary has started appearing on the blog I have been getting emails asking me to explain.  Am planning a dictionary of common diary terms.

Do you have any stories to share (complete anonymity guaranteed!) Send me your stories, thoughts, comments, anything: April@admin.org.uk

To receive regular news of a somewhat more serious variety about school administration please take a gentle stroll to http://www.schools.co.uk/subscribe.html and just click on the Admin option. There’s also news and info on www.admin.org.uk

You can read the whole of the Diary - or to go back over bits you missed - by using the calendar on the right. Dates on which there are diary entries are in blue. Click on April 10 for the first full entry.

Posted in News | Print | Comments Off