The head is arrested; police remove the photocopier.

24/04/2008 by April First.

Diary of a school Administrator

Read the diary from the start Diary of a School Administrator, April 8

The police arrived with a warrant to arrest the Head for trafficking in children. Being honourable citizens we allowed them to search his room, suggested they might want to look in the false ceiling (they declined) gave them the head’s home address, mobile number, parent’s home, holiday castle in Scotland, car number plate, National Insurance number, blood group, photo and description of his dog. We said we could have told them more but the mountains of photocopying all over the floor prevented us finding it.

I then told the detective inspector that I suspected the photocopier itself and the mounds of copying in the room could be evidence in this case, and the police duly removed it all. I am sure Ofsted will understand the lack of printed policies.

Apparently our new motto is to be Adiendi Alodre Addidendum. At least that is what is on the headed paper that arrived this morning - and which I have been able to put on my desk following the removal of the policy documents. I am not at all sure what it means – and seemingly neither is anyone else. We have opened a competition to discover the truth.

Janice cheated by going on Google and finding a statement that read “coc ei raalai lt sltoeoalsmnrshl o,alaa adiendi a eceauobomsor rs lrtuieeipddgrai emsvm cha a agnt arncvior ecsn i rce uoe eaei pescetr ctr” but none of us is any the wiser. However it seems that having a Latin type motto will make us all much more motivated and hard working.

Derek offered 5 to 1 that no one would even be able to remember a single word of the motto by May 1, but there were no takers. Mrs Marchmount announced that she was going to reduce her work level until it was at one with that of the mangers of a school who think that school money should be spent on a motto rather than staff salaries.

On reporting my tumble drier problems to the staffroom at lunch Blinky Allthorpe told me I should have brought my wet washing to her for attention. I told her it was very kind of her but pointed out that we lived over 30 miles apart. “But you could have faxed it to me,” she said.

Ofsted called to confirm that they would be in tomorrow.

Just before I left the Detective Inspector phoned and asked me out for a meal at a new Indian restaurant in town. I said ok.

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