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Go to [1] Diary of a School Administrator, April 8

April 15: Mrs Marchmount is still off with the broken toe, suffered when she fell over the box that had once contained interactive whiteboard software. As a result opposition to the Toxic Waste project has melted away. We’ve already upped the stakes by getting the labels printed in yellow.

The number of teachers popping into the school office for no purpose other than to hang about and avoid the deputy head has decreased dramatically. A vigorous debate broke out as to exactly where they are now hiding from Mr Fixham’s firm gaze, and there is talk of launching a search party next week.

Six estate agents arrived in the afternoon each offering us ludicrous sums to rent out sections of our garden sheds to nice couples with teenage children. It is a despicable trade and after suitable haggling we signed.

I spotted four local authority secret agents follow parents home today, notebooks at the ready. They looked rather cute in their make-believe parent garb driving on the pavement and dashing across the red lights. I suppose it could be quite an exciting job. I wonder what it pays.