Diary of a school administrator: April 14

15/04/2008 by April First.

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Go to Diary of a School Administrator, April 8

April 14

The head (who we remember as Mr Berlusconi , but whom few have seen) is up to his old tricks of going off to meetings without telling his PA the where and when. As it happened the deputy director of education phoned asking for the head. Janice just told the DD that the head had vanished and no one knew where he was – which was absolutely true. She promised to call the authority back “if he should return at any time.”

There was a loud explosion in mid-afternoon as Miss Sallyband announced the continuance of her attempt to create life with her year 10 class. No one took much notice of it, but it did strike me a little later that the two new members of staff were no longer working on the boiler.

Worryingly no one knew where the two newcomers had gone. Even more worryingly, the deputy head denied that they had ever existed. We retaliated by denying the deputy head existed. It seemed a fair exchange.

Mid-afternoon Blinky Allthorpe came to see us with a look of sheer terror on her face. The roof in the staffroom was still open, but she could still hear the pathetic cries of a locked bird. It was time for action and as one we dashed to the staffroom. Derek and Clarius joined us as we stood in silence, waiting, listening. And then it was there. The sound.

I have thought since that Derek could have handled the situation a little more delicately. His brusque, “Blinky are you going to answer your sodding phone or not?” was, I felt, not quite in keeping with the solemnity of the occasion, and it did take us until the end of the working day to calm our favourite maths teacher down.

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The diary continues tomorrow. In the meantime you can read the recent entries in the diary

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