Diary of a School Administrator, April 8

We had not been at our desks more than five minutes on the first working day of the new term when Blinky Althorpe rushed in in hysterics shouting that there was a bird trapped in the false ceiling above the staff room. As befits our position as guardians of the school’s administration we shut the office and proceeded into the staff room.

Blinky is in the maths department which means she sits at the far end of the staffroom, (for reasons that will not become apparent at this time.) We entered, stood, listened and considered. There was not a sound. A teacher entered and as one we turned and frowned. He retreated. (It was a clever trick and one we should use more often). But still we heard no sound.

Blinky recovered her composure and we returned to the office and our consideration of what the forthcoming year might hold.

Within minutes Blinky was back, visibly upset, claiming that she had heard the sad creature again. Rather than return to the staffroom we agreed that action was called for. Derek was summoned.

By the time Derek made it to the staff room the sad little bird had once more given up its call for help. Derek surveyed the situation and used his walkie talkie to get Clarius, his ever faithful assistant) who arrived armed with the paraphernalia of his work, and together they set about removing the ceiling and exposing a nether world of cables and bric a brac..

I looked in before I left for the day. The covers were still off the ceiling, but there was no sign of Derek or Calrius.

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